The Time Magazine cover debate is a ridiculous one. The picture is deliberately controversial, therefore some are shocked by it. If she had been sat down with her child across her lap I believe far less would have been made of it.
There is nothing controversial in breastfeeding a three year old, the worldwide average weaning age is 4. So it is the norm, not the abnormal we see depicted.
The main objections to the Time cover are of course caused by society's sexualisation of breasts. Feeding a baby is obviously a breasts actual purpose- looking nice is merely a happy byproduct. For me it is easy, when I am feeding they do not feel like they belong to my sexual self, they feel like they are nurturing objects and almost as if they belong to my baby. They look and feel quite different. But I have no trouble with later re-settling them as part of my sexual side. I look forward to welcoming the girls back once their job is done, and I shall reward them with some pretty new outerwear to make up for the months of ugly feeding bras!
Personally I probably won't breastfeed Syd until anywhere near as long as depicted. My elder two were 15 months, and 11 1/2 months. The latter having weaned himself, the former needing some persuasion that she didn't need the boob anymore.
I enjoy breastfeeding, and despite a nasty bout of mastitis this time round that has left me with only one functioning breast, and mismatching cup sizes, I find it easy. It isn't for everyone.
However I do look forward to stopping somewhere around the one year mark. Syd already eats a wide range of foods, and once he is able to have cows/soya milk to drink at one, I will be thinking about weaning him.
I am looking forward to reclaiming my body. Utterly selfish?! Not really, after 9 months of pregnancy and a year of breastfeeding I think it's time for me again! I find dieting hard when breastfeeding as it makes me so hungry! And I am not one of those who seems to shed the pounds on the lactation diet. So I look forward to getting my figure back. Even if I dread the actual dieting.
I would like to have the occasional drink or three, and nights out that are not limited in duration by the need to return in time to breastfeed. I might even have a whole night away at some point!!
While that is my choice I am not in anyway critical of those who breastfeed for longer or shorter periods. Or not at all. We all find our own balance in our own set of unique circumstances.
I will say I am not a massive fan of the Time Cover. It is a deliberately provocative photo, I mean- nobody would actually feed like that surely!! "Are you hungry? Well fetch the ladder....". I do not think it has necessarily done the promotion of breastfeeding any massive favours.
I think what we want is not a division between those that feed for years and those who feed for months, weeks or not at all, but a society that respects breastfeeding, responds to the needs of feeding mothers, and that we get to a point where feeding when or where you need to is never an issue.
This is a great post. I have been shocked at the level of outrage this story/photo caused. I wish our society was more accepting of breastfeeding generally. It's sad that breasts are seen as sexual and breastfeeding is seen as wrong. I know this attitude puts new mothers off breastfeeding & I think that's a shame. People should feel comfortable feeding their babies in public.
ReplyDeleteThank you. And yes- storm in a Sippy cup as far as I am concerned. I do think it's a shame that instead of using a Breastfeeding pic that may have encouraged its acceptance they used something that will offend the very people who are most likely to tut at feeding mothers in public. Fuelling the fire rather than helping the cause..but then it has generated them a lot of publicity which I guess was the aim! The inflammatory headline bugged me too- Seems a shame to try and divide mothers into separate camps. It's a hard job without fighting each other over who s best!
DeleteThank you for posting this. I breastfed until 13 months old. I experienced several negative reactions, especially after around 6 months from people seeing me feeding in public so I do understand the desire to reclaim the debate. The thing which worries me about these deliberate shock tactics is the following:
ReplyDelete1. Stop trying to shock me, it's *just* breastfeeding = natural = not shocking
2. Most mothers who are breastfeeding older kids only do so at bedtime and so you're very unlikely to be exposed to it in public (much less so with a ladder).
3. Most mothers who feed do so discretely whatever the age. This kind of 'out there' feeding is another piece of ammunition for the people who think it's 'disgusting' (and I don't think "feeding discretely" has to be under a cover either but it doesn't have to be so exposed and that's about choice of clothing and position.)
4. It's a huge deal to consider feeding for that long for a new mum. I worry these kind of images perversely make women less likely to breastfeed. All of my local peer supporters were breastfeeders of preschool kids. That was a big deal to live up to and they weren't very sympathetic either; there was a "well I've been feeding for 3 years..." kind of oneupmanship.
Excellent post! I couldn't agree more about the choice of pic. The Jerry Hall photo is far more helpful with regards to promoting breastfeeding. I think there will always be those who look for a battle (for or against). It's a pity because I think that just drums up antagonism and no one wins.
ReplyDeleteI breastfed H until she was a month before her 2.5 anniversary - though that was only mornings and occasional evenings, and I can't bear that picture. It doesn't look natural and looks completely posed and set to provoke. You put it so much better than I ever could. The Jerry Hall one is fabulous though!
ReplyDeleteThanks all for great and interesting comments. Yes- I agree- those I know who feed for longer tend to be first thing/ last thing feeders. Wish feeding a baby wasn't so controversial! It really shouldn't be! Xx
ReplyDeleteEveryone is welcome to do what they like, Society is too quick to jump on people sometimes !
ReplyDeleteCompletely agree with you. I resisted writing a post following the ridiculous TIME magazine cover as the sole purpose was to shock and divide and rake up the old prejudices regarding breastfeeding and extended feeding in particular.
ReplyDeleteYes! we should all feel comfortable to feed wherever and whenever and for as long or little as we like x
Oooh, I've never seen that Jerry Hall pic before and I love it. Her baby is so cute but I'd like it even more if she looked like she was enjoying it a little :D
As someone who breastfed all my kids to different ages, my last until she was 3 1/2, the cover irked me.I am an attachment parent but this does not help the AP parent or breastfeeding mothers or those who did not breastfeed.I don't think I'm any better a mum for breastfeeding for so long and I certainly don't think any mum who hasn't isn't 'Mom enough'.I was going to write a post myself but life has got in the way.
ReplyDeleteHi I haven't forgotten you but I was just over at Love All Blogs and spotted that there was a breastfeeding blog hop over at Slacker Mom.I thought you could add this post to it http://www.theslackermom.com/breastfeeding-blog-hop-2012/
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post! Exactly how I feel! Have been breastfeeding now for 2 weeks and it's felt like a very long journey and one which I'm still trying to get to grips with/get my head around. Been trying to explain to my OH how I feel about my boobs and how long I want to try and feed for (same as you) but I think I'm just going to show him this blogpost as it covers exactly what I'm thinking/feeling :)
ReplyDeleteI honestly feel like the cover hurt the cause for breast feeding more than it helped it. Instead of depicting breast feeding as normal and natural, the cover/title came across as combative and condescending. I think mothers should breast feed as long as, and where ever they want. That said, if mothers choose not too that doesn't mean they're not "mom enough". Great blog post. I'll be back to read more!
ReplyDeleteI write www.askyourdadblog.com. Stop by. I always try to be funny and sometimes I succeed.
Thanks John, couldn't agree more. Will be popping over to yours for a read! X
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