Syd is 11 months old, so I am obviously always by his side, interacting with him and the environment. And as he grows I will continue to play with him at these places until he hits 4 or 5 and just hurtles endlessly from top to bottom and I lose the ability to keep up!
What I have found the last couple of times I have been, is that a number of parents of under threes just leave their kids to it. Which is up to them I guess, except kids that age love adult interaction which means they seem drawn like moths to Syd and I's games.
I am not a total Scrooge and am more than happy for other kids to join in our play, it's nice for Syd too. But there are times you just can't shake them, and it becomes intrusive on our time together.
The little girl who attached herself to us yesterday was a bit of a pain too. Each time I introduced Syd to a new toy she snatched it off of him saying it was her turn now. I amused the two of them for a while, then slightly fed up of her behaviour I moved to a different area of the play centre. She followed. She can't have been quite 3, and no adult seemed to be taking any interest and she continued to interrupt our play in a less than charming fashion for the rest of our session. If I could work out who or where her parents were I would have said something, but they never appeared.
I think she just wanted someone to play with, and was obviously used to having to be a bit aggressive to get attention. I had to mildly tell her off for being too rough with Syd on a few occasions.
I don't like telling off strangers children - you never know when you will get a mouthful from a parent for it, and it annoys me that I got put in that position. Even when my children are older I am always aware of where they are and what they are doing. If it had been my child, I would have at least checked the other parent didn't mind them tagging along, or removed the child to another toy, or dare I suggest it, actually got down on my knees and played with them myself!!!!
I am good at playing with kids, but I am not here to entertain a strangers kids while they sit and drink coffee and disregard their own child's behaviour or whereabouts.
Rant over.
Miss not an unpaid nanny Cisco xxx
Good post and very true. This is why we don't go to soft play much. One time we went I ended up acting as an unofficial marshall on one of the slides whilst all the other parents relaxed and drank coffee! What I try to do now is if the child wants something I'll tell them to ask their mummy/daddy or ask them to point out who they are with and then I just go over and blatantly say "excuse me your child wants xxx". It does make me fed up. I'm always with my child and certainly wouldn't expect anyone else to look after them for me.
ReplyDeleteWe went to a soft play centre yesterday and how true your words are. I am all for playing and involving other children whilst we are out but it gets difficult to supervise the more boisterous ones when the parent/carer is nowhere to be seen.
ReplyDeleteI always feel like I am the only parent who is playing with their child when we go to soft play too, they are either messing with their phone or have their head burred in a magazine and definitely not watching their kids! My biggest bug bare is children over 4 in the under 4 areas, I always complain to the staff, well someone has to watch out for the teeny ones!
ReplyDeleteWe went to soft play yesterday with friends. My son and my friends son were running around together having a ball, and we were keeping an eye from the side (they are both 3 and it's a small play area so thankfully you can see most of it from the seats). We'd seen this boy around the same age as them hitting some of the younger babies in the under-4s section, and clearly his parent was paying no attention. Later my friends son came back with blood on his cheek and said that the same boy had punched him, and scratched him. We'd figured out who the parent was and I went and had a word, she did get her son to come and apologise but then he was off again, she still paid no attention and he was punching more kids 5 mins later. Now my son hits, his 3, that's what a lot of 3 year old boys I've met do, but if he was going around hitting people I'd warn him and then if he persisted I'd remove him from the situation, I'd at least like to think that I would notice that he was doing it and apologies to the other parents. Funny thing was that he has actually brought the son of the friend of the parent to tears and yet she still didn't appear bothered by his behaviour!
ReplyDeleteI was walking past an interactive display at a museum which despite having a clear sign saying one at a time has several 9 or 10 year olds on it. A member of staff got very cross with me that i wasn't obeying the rules and controlling my children. He didn't care when i explained they were complete strangers. I'd become responsible for them just by being the nearest grownup
ReplyDeleteHahaha you naughty complete stranger!!!! How crazy- bet you were lost for words!
DeleteWe have exactly the same problem everytime we go to soft play. The children congregate around us and the parents seem to dissapear!
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm another one this strike a chord with. You know what's even worse than soft play though? Paddling pools. Aargh. Tried once, never again... freaked me out too much trying to keep an eye on all the children in the water!
ReplyDeleteYour totally right, I also find it really irritating when said children hurt
ReplyDeleteThemselves & it takes ages for the parents to notice if at all! Also, have you noticed how its spreading to mums & tots groups aswell? Do these parents think they are promoting independence or do they just Don't give a hoot & are letting you & I look after the next generation of sociopaths?
I am all for encouraging independent play, it's an important skill, but that doesn't mean you don't keep an eye and intervene if they are bugging others!! Thanks for all your great comments, glad its not just me!
ReplyDeleteOh I wrote a post about this before, I hate it when parents just completely ignore what there kids get up too! I'm always watching mine like a hawk!
ReplyDeleteThis is why I have a soft play phobia!! Plenty of Mums have told me how great they are because you can relax and have a coffee - what??!! No I can't relax in soft play with kids hurtling all over the place. I feel like an idiot when I go because I can't help but supervise my children and intervene when games get too rough.
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