Yes. Them damn Limpets have got me. I still loathe the expense, the pomp, and the fact that when watching any event where we might get a gold, my viewing pleasure keeps getting disrupted by images of the huge grinning head of Cameron. Does he think we will like him more because team GB are doing a good job??? Nope. Sorry Mr C, I might have done a bit of an about face on the Lympics but I still can't stand you!
But them damn fine sporty people with their extreme to the point of collapse efforts, and all out beyond human capabilities, and outstanding commitment to their field, they have got to me. I have been on edge of seat and reduced to tears by their sublime successes and their determination beyond all else.
They talk of inspiring a generation. They mean our kids I expect. But I am all inspired with no where to go! I am an overweight mother of three with an innate loathing of exercise, so suddenly discovering a desire to win Olympic gold at something is a bit daft. It is not only too late, it is beyond my personality to use my body as owt but an elaborate cushion to inhabit.
So what are my skills. My nappy changing is quite swift, and I am in the more difficult moving target class. I could do the giant bar of dairy milk in under 4 minutes- that could be a world record. Am quite good at the dirty washing into the basket lob, but fear my skills in that arena are no higher than county level.
I used to excel at cross country drinking in my day. And exercise avoidance- if that is a skill in itself I am suberb at it. I have gone almost a year without a proper nights sleep- is the fact I am still functioning worthy a medal of some description? I am not sure what my niche is.
Perhaps it is Oddness. I am quite good at quirky. Can I please have a Quirky medal. I would quite like it to be made out of Bakelite, and hung on a gold chain with big loops like I am in Run DMC. If it could be decorated with a biscuit/Hawaiian/leopard print theme then even better. Ooh. And I would love it if there were a button on said quirky medal that plays an original, personal anthem recorded on a Bontempi keyboard. That would make it just about perfect.
Lovely. I can then use my new found medal ownership to inspire the next generation of oddities. Ace.
Love Miss inspiring a nerderation Cisco xxx