Dearest Squidman,

A word in your shell-like my beautiful, short stubborn one. I should like to share some of my wisdom with you.

• Shoes are not food.



'Tasty'

• Houmous and grated carrot sandwiches are a delicious and healthy lunch. They are not a new type of flooring.                                                                                                                               

• You cannot live on quavers alone.

• Beakers are for drinking from, not for creating fun carpet puddles.

• You do HAVE to have a clean nappy a few times a day, please accept this and stop wriggling away screeching while it is being done. It is not torture designed to annoy you. It is so your bottom does not rot.

• 'NO' is a useful word. But it is not the answer to every question. Especially ones where you actually mean yes.

See all the lovingly chosen toys, abandoned in favour of an old toothbrush...

• You have a large quantity of colourful and fun toys, so please stop raiding the bin for things to play with.

• Books are thrilling. Perhaps not the same four sentence book thirteen times in a row tho. Are you ready for Douglas Adams yet?

• The Hoover is not out to get you.

• It is traditional to sleep in your own bed with your head pointing at the top and your feet pointing at the bottom. Not sideways in mine.

I am sure there will be more. But that is today's lesson done. Now have a nap and dream of happy things,

Love Mummy Cisco xxx