1) The Old Age Fairy.
Sprinkles dust on you while you sleep causing you to wake up with a dodgy hip and an extra wrinkle or three.
2) The Biscuit Whisperer.
Sits on your shoulder and tells you to have another one.
3) The Baby Waker.
The kids are in bed, Fridays episode of QI is cued on the Iplayer, you plonk your bottom down next to your other half on the sofa, wine glass in hand ready for that first precious sip, and this bad fairy prods your baby in the ribs, just hard enough to wake them up. Bitch.
4) The Washing Basket Wisp.
Collects barely, if worn at all items and stuffs them onto dirty clothes mountain, ensuring that even if you never EVER slept and did nothing but wash clothes continually, you would still never see the bottom of the basket. Sometimes the items don't even belong to members of your family. (There is a possibility that she bears more than a passing resemblance to my teenage daughter)
5) The Money Thief.
However careful you are, however much you reign in that shopping urge, this fairy ensures that you still don't have quite enough. She is the one who suggests extra trips to teachers at school, and spends her weekends chewing small holes into Clarks footwear, and chipping silently away at your fillings while you sleep, until one falls out. She will do anything to ensure that just when you think ends might meet, something unexpected crops up and steals your secret chocolate fund money.
Oh gosh, there are an awful lot of mischievous be-winged nuisances aren't there?!? and I am certain that is but a few of them. Which malevolent imps are wreaking havoc in your house this week?
We've got a hiding stuff elf. He moves things around so my husband can't find them. When I come to help look the hiding stuff elf moves them back to the exact place I said they were.
ReplyDeleteThe washing fairy is alive and kicking in our house - creating mountains and mountains of clothes for washing. I definitely wash more than it's possible for five people to wear.
ReplyDeleteWell you've read my post today so you will be well aware that Im not a fan of the 'old age fairy'! And that 'washing basket wisp' occurs regularly in our house and is an absolute menace! Very funny post :)
ReplyDeleteA brilliant post and all so true! The money thief is definitely very busy in our house at the moment!
ReplyDeleteIf you see the ironing fairy could you send her round here please? Popping in from the BritMums LOL round-up due out tomorrow
ReplyDeleteWhat's the name of the malevolent fairy who puts into ones husband's drawer underpants that he swears suspiciously are not and never have been his?
ReplyDeleteI know the money thief fairy well - some bitch she is!! x
ReplyDeleteI will never forget the Beer Monkey Fairy. Who - Whacks you on the head, shits in your mouth and puts a 'moose' in your bed - not to mention tells all your friends terrible lies about the previous evening's activities.
ReplyDeleteHe visited often in the university years but we haven't seen as much of him recently thank goodness.