How to be an annoying parent…

Posted by on Jan 29, 2013 in Parenting | 35 comments

I love annoying teenagers. I don’t mean that I have a fondness for teenagers that are annoying, (although I love mine to bits and she can dwell towards the irritating end of the scale) I mean that doing things that embarrass or annoy my teenager is one of my favourite sports. Here is a list of the things that bug her most:-

Mum you're embarrassing

1) Deliberate mispronunciation of favoured band names. One Erection is always funny as it is rude as well as wrong. And You Meat Six is just surreal, but still bugs her.

2) When she is trying to do portraits for her photography course,  photo bombing by adding strange objects is a sure fire wind up. For example :- place small plastic elephant on your shoulder which goes un-noticed until development. I think it’s adds something to her art….

3) Dance in an embarrassing fashion. Even better if you can achieve it while there is no music playing, or if you attempt to ‘Gangman Style’ whilst not really knowing what it is, or while wearing just pants and a t-shirt and singing an impromptu ‘where are my trousers?’ song.

4) Wearing any clothes. They will all be wrong, either too fashionable, too unfashionable or too weird. Offer to be naked instead. That is still wrong. You can’t win, so you may as well indulge your inner eccentric.

5) Insist repeatedly that her ‘Snapback’ is a baseball cap. Mostly because it is.

6) Threaten to tell her mates that she steals your pants when she has run out of clean ones on account of an inability to put her own in the washing basket.

7) Use internationally accepted Internet shorthand for example ‘LOL’. Apparently it is uncool for me, as an old person, to use that sort of slang, tho she does deem it acceptable to use the word ‘LOL’ herself, out loud, in real life conversations.  I think that that  is the uncool behaviour as it gives me terrifying visions of a society devoid of proper laughter, with comedy gigs punctuated by synchronised utterings of ‘PMSL’ or ‘ROFL’, and babies first giggles replaced by tiny ‘LOL’ noises. Hideous.

8) Delight in telling stories from when she was small, which I find adorable but she finds humiliating. Here are two of them in brief:-

‘Mummy, Mummy, Bumhole, Bumhole’
I panic about where bad language has come from, turn around to discover she is referring to the fact she can park her posterior perfectly in the concave door of the washing machine.
 

OR
                                                                  

The time when she had recently discovered the fundamental difference between girls and boys and I overheard this conversation she was having with a male friend of mine.

Her: ” You’ve got a willy haven’t you.”
Friend in wary voice “Yes”
Her “That’s because you are a boy. Do you know what I have got?”
Friend in even warier voice “No?”
Her “An electric toothbrush”

9) When I write blog posts about her….. Even when they are lovely…….(tho I have her permission to really!)

Am I mean? Or do you wind your kids up too?

Love Miss Embarrassing Cisco XXX

35 Comments

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  1. bbblog

    haha!!! Aw, I think it’s compulsory. We’re constantly telling H about funny things she did “when she was a baby” which she find hilarious!

    BTW, I’ve not seen you mention it yet, but have you seen CiTV has the Aquabats Super Show? We watched it yesterday, and H isn’t entirely sure about it, but Shaun roared with laughter – I think you’ll all probably love it! (and I want to find the PR company behind it to find out more about the show and how well it’s doing, as I’ve no idea how long it has been on and the website doesn’t really help much) – it’s on proper telly and CiTV too – ooh, here you go https://www.itv.com/itvplayer/aquabats-super-show/series-1/episode-3

  2. Lynn Fancy

    LOL (see I use it too) It is brilliant and you must never stop! Oh and you forget…. writing on her Facebook wall (unless you have been unfriended!)

    Ev is the same – and it SO IS a baseball cap!!!

  3. Craftsonsea

    Fantastic :D Jacob is only two but I already to my best to embarrass him in public, can’t wait for the teenage years!

  4. mummyglitzer

    I did actually laugh out loud to this. THIS is what I am looking forward to about H becoming a teen!

  5. Mary at Keynko

    It makes all the sleepless nights and teething worth while! Love being the embarrassing mum!

  6. My Two Mums

    hahaha, is it wrong that I can’t wait until I have some stories about Monkey that are cringey.

    • Sonya Cisco

      No, it’s totally right! Write it all down if you need to, or photographs are brilliant for that! On my Wookey Hole post there is a photo on my 9 year old that I will definitely get out to show his first girlfriend!!

  7. SarahMummy

    That cracked me up. I don’t do it yet, but I’m sure it’s not far off. Probably ought to ask permission to write about them too. Which is a shame. Because I’ve enjoyed blogging :(

    • Sonya Cisco

      It depends on their age. Betsy is a fair bit older than your eldest, and I am public with my blog on Facebook where mutual family and friends can see it. If I am writing about her specifically I let her read it first, she actually suggested a couple of the above as additions! :) but if I am just mentioning her in passing then I just go ahead and post!!

  8. Tas D

    Hehe that’s so funny…I have never ever nicked my mums pants when I was younger (ahem!!). The Gangnam style one made me laugh a lot!

  9. Damien Clarkson

    This blog made me smile. I don’t have kids but pretty sure my 15 year old cousin thinks I am an boring old person.

  10. arealmummydiary.com

    This made me laugh because it reminds me of my mum and made me see that I still have some teenage tendencies left, as well as being a mum myself! It’s all very confusing but love this post

    • Sonya Cisco

      I get that too! Sometimes I say something to my daughter and hear my mums voice and end up feeling like a teen again!

  11. 40s Chic

    Oh I’m with you, it’s one of the funniest things. Annoying my daughter makes me chuckle. In a good way of course, not horribly. I don’t have to do much to annoy or embarrass her at the moment (she’s 11) and just being there is often enough. That and singing, dancing, speaking to her friends, talking in a baby voice to the dog, asking what she did at school, wearing my winter hat….

  12. Nicola Thomas

    That is brilliant! I frequently embarrass my son and now I’m teaching at his school which makes it a hundred times worse. Great post x

    • Sonya Cisco

      Aww yes,I can see that working at his school is going to cause issues, someone above commented about using the threat of embarrassment as a punishment….perhaps you can get some extra chores out of him so you don’t ruffle his hair in assembly!?!

  13. Older Mum

    I have a horrid head cold at the moment – and that gave me a good giggle!!!!! One Erection – snigger snigger :o).

  14. Suzanne

    Ha ha, I think that this is an essential part of being a parent. My husband ( he is the worst offender) and I do this all the time!! I do like One Erection but mine are probably just a teensy bit young for that kind of wind up yet!

    • Sonya Cisco

      Yes, that sort of joke has only recently become acceptable in my house, and even then I have to watch out for smaller ears listening in!

  15. mum in meltdown

    Just Brilliant!!! Yes I have 2 boys and although my eldest doesn’t care my youngest who is 12 is a nightmare!! I told him my excuse is that we have to get him back for all the embarrassing laying on the floor screaming tantrums he had in supermarkets as a toddler LOL PArents rights and all that :) Gotta try the dancing in my pants though

  16. Crystal Jigsaw

    That’s so funny. Amy turned 13 at the beginning of January and everything I do, from getting up in the morning to going to bed at night, is wrong and soooo uncool. I am an embarrassment. Through and Through.

    Fabulous!!

    CJ x

  17. Trouble Doubled

    I am so looking forward to this phase. We’ve already had tasters of it with the 8-year oldm who suffers no fools. So that’s me screwed then. Also, what is a snapback? Am I supposed to know these things? Am I so uncool?

  18. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron

    There are some most useful tips in there. So far pretending to be a noisily evangelical Christian in Co-Op is my only weapon.

  19. Corinne

    Teen bating… my favourite sport and is good revenge for the toddler years.

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