I can’t get no sleep.

Well, that is not strictly true. Last night for example, I went to bed at 11-ish, was probably asleep by half past, and save a couple of brief small boy wakings, slept til 5. But then Syd wakes up for his early morning feed, which he always does between 5 and 6, and I am done. I can’t get back to sleep. Syd can, he is snoring away happily while I lie here fretting . He will sleep now until I force him to get up at 8. So why can’t I go back to sleep too?

I think my mind, if awake for more than a few minutes at this point of the night, just decides it is morning. I can function on 5/6 hours sleep, but 8 would be better.

My body disagrees with my mind, and I am inclined to take its side. It refuses to get out from under the duvet, or consider vertical in any serious fashion. Despite quite urgently needing a wee. So I lay trapped in a nether world with a sleeping body and a mind on full pelt.

My thoughts flit from one train to the next. Sometimes I can trick my brain with radio 4, and lull it back to sleep as its own jibber gets lost in the soporific tones of early morning talk radio. But mostly it wants to concern itself with things I cannot do much about at such an hour, if at all. I think about:-

My family. My Daughter has been discussing University options- where did her childhood go? I hope that my lovely man is doing ok after the recent death of his Mum. And I feel blessed that the very dearest of my loved ones are sleeping peacefully under my roof – if I really strain my hearing I can convince myself that I can hear the different breathing patterns of all four of them, as the sounds of their snuffles and slumber fill the otherwise silent house.

I think of the fellow blogger who lost her beautiful baby, Matilda Mae, at just 9 months old last week. I allow myself a few tears for her and her family, before squeezing them away and hoping that if I wish very hard I can lessen their pain a little.

I worry that I have forgotten things like bills, or the parcel I need to take to the post office but keep forgetting to. I would go now if it were open just to shut my brain up about it.

I consider philosophical questions such as ‘Why is the bread always too big for the toaster?’ and ‘Why can’t the manufacturers of bread and toasters team up and decide a standardised slice size?’ Deep huh?!?

I worry about politics, and the environment, and plot half baked plans for revolutions and schemes to save the world. If I were Queen of Everything it would be a beautiful, caring world. How unfortunate that the flaws in my flimsy propositions become all too plain to see once I add caffiene and daylight to the mix.

I ponder the big stuff like ‘How did Syd get Netflix to talk Spanish?’ and ‘When Dora the Explorer is in Spanish, does she teach English?’

And I watch the minutes tick down until at half six I think , feck it, no point in going back sleep now, be time to get up soon, may as well brave upright. I bribe my still reluctant body with the promise of an empty bladder and a hot drink, and roll out bed. The clock is blinking 06.34 at me now. Time to put the kettle on…..

Love Miss Cisco XXX



  1. February 8, 2013 / 8:39 am

    I always have little problem getting to sleep but if disturbed, like you I struggle to go back off. It’s amazing the things that come into your mind and persist for attention in the small hours. I sometimes do an alphabet game to distract myself. You know name a pop star beginning with A,B,C, anything to distract my mind from what ever I can’t solve there and then. Sorry the alphabet game is my best bit of advice…bit weak I know.

    • Sonya Cisco
      February 8, 2013 / 9:10 am

      I LOVE the alphabet game, especially the swear word one. Yes. I am that immature.

  2. SarahMummy
    February 8, 2013 / 9:04 am

    Brilliant post. I’m so glad everyone thinks of random crap when they’re awake. Am I allowed to say that men don’t get this? ‘Why don’t you just go back to sleep?’ You’re right, after 5 or 6 hours your mind and body aren’t tired enough to go back to sleep, even though it would be better if they did.

    • Sonya Cisco
      February 8, 2013 / 9:12 am

      Glad it isn’t just me. i get quite cross with myself because I end up shattered later in the day! Tho its not too bad, as long as I get a couple of 8 hour nights a week I seem to function ok!

  3. Catherine
    February 8, 2013 / 12:38 pm

    I had 8 hours of sleep last night – the first time in six months! I generally find that if I wake up around 2am, for whatever reason, I’m screwed – unable to get back to sleep until about 5am, which is just pointless as the alarm goes off at 5:30am. It’s awful not getting a good block of sleep and it’s normal to find me passed out on the sofa by the time Eastenders starts in the evening nowadays! I probably get about a whole 20 minutes of adult conversation with hubby each day because of it.

    • Sonya Cisco
      February 8, 2013 / 7:49 pm

      Yes! Am the same, get stuck in a loop of early starts followed by worn out early nights!

  4. Galina Varese
    February 8, 2013 / 12:49 pm

    I know the feeling. When one of my guys wakes me up in the early hours, I find it very difficult to go back to sleep. I can’t really think of real life at that point, as it would only worry me even more and I’ll get too anxious. So, I invent a “novel”, which I tell myself in installments. Sort of a historical saga thingy, and this self-storytelling lulls me back into some kind of sleep

    • Sonya Cisco
      February 8, 2013 / 7:49 pm

      Ooh that’s a lovely creative thing to do, might try that!

  5. Emily Foran
    February 8, 2013 / 9:31 pm

    I have this before falling asleep far too late and then on waking too early every morning! Xx

  6. Tas D
    February 9, 2013 / 1:46 pm

    Hehe I think about stuff like this, important stuff mostly…like who will take over from David Attenborough (I’m thinking Joanna lumley, this week anyway!)….and our toaster/panini maker is so rubbish we have to turn the bread over and let it toast the top.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge