Being a yummy mummy takes work. Now spring is upon us I am up making extra effort to update my look for the new season. These are my current fashion highlights:-
1) Today I am wearing a hat. It looks suspiciously like a baby wipe, but my stylist insists it is a hat, and as I know very little about whats hot in the world of millinery who am I to argue. Did I mention my stylist is 19 months old?!? The mood this headwear creates is both modern, and clean. It is so fetching I am planning a catwalk launch for the full ‘Wet Wipe’ collection.
2) The ‘IT’ bag has been replaced by the ‘Full Of Shit’ bag. At last count containing- 2 half eaten crackers, some bubbles, tissues, something sticky and unidentifiable, several small plastic toys, a stirring stick from Costa that wasn’t allowed to go in the bin, a clean nappy, a dirty nappy, a broken eyeliner, an empty purse because children steal ALL your disposable income and a lip balm with sand stuck to it.
3) Dirty. I am a dirty girl. That sounds like something Rhianna would sing. But I doubt she would mean it in the smeared with snot, cake, marmite and general grime way that I do. Grime. Apparently that’s a musical movement. I am old, for me it is something Kim and Aggy try to wipe off. They would need a lot of lemon juice solution to get my clothes clean.
4) ‘Ill-Fitting’ is the keyword this spring. I am neither big enough for my maternity wardrobe, nor small enough for my pre-Syd clothes. He is 18 months, the baby weight excuse is wearing thin. Unlike me.
5) Dated or not. Thank god the grunge look is apparently back in fashion. I am still wearing Doc Martens, scruffy tees and holey, over sized jumpers from the first time. Find your look and stick with it, once at least every 5 years you will be totally hip as the fashion wheel revolves back around to your stop.
How are you preparing for the new season?