The Ways Toddlers Are Like Poltergeists

Posted by on May 23, 2013 in Humour, Parenting, Toddlers | 18 comments

My mate Emma saw a rather peculiar sign in a shop window the other day. It said:-

‘Yes,’ she thought, ‘Of course I do.’
Cos you know, children are definitely real. The Sixth Sense would have been a shite film if the punch line had been ‘I see children.’
Having said that, living with a toddler does bear a certain amount of resemblance to sharing a house with restless spirits:-
  • Your belongings are moved by unseen hands. Only this morning I tracked down my phone to the wastepaper basket.
  • They steal your bedclothes in the night.
  • They speak in tongues.
  • They scrawl messages onto the walls. (toddlers are slightly less likely to use blood)
  • They leave behind a trail of ectoplasm.
  • They make unholy wailing noises in the dark.
  • You get a strange feeling that you are never alone. Even on the toilet.
SO bearing that in mind, do you believe in children?

Love Miss Cisco XXX

18 Comments

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  1. Marilynn

    This is hilarious. I definitely believe in children. The remote control for the TV in our bedroom has now been missing for 3 months. I have searched EVERYWHERE and it’s just gone. The power of toddlers should never be underestimated…Also, how can they sneak up right behind you without you hearing a single footstep when they normally stomp about like an angry elephant? I’m almost certain they use the power of levitation when no one is looking…creepy little monsters!

    • Sonya Cisco

      hahaha, our remote goes mysteriously missing regularly too! ANd yes, how do they suddenly do that creeping up on you thing?!

  2. blog off

    My little H is SO good that I can’t help thinking that we got lucky, so I definitely believe in children – she doesn’t hide things or write on walls or anything. But she’s a great poet, scarily so. She’ll probably make up a poem for you when you stay over if she’s not being too shy.

    Actually, the only thing she’s really ever taken from me are several good nights of sleep, and boy do I need a catchup :-)

  3. Honestmum

    Loved this! Definitely believe in children-they’re the monkeys keeping me up at night! Congrats on Bibs! See you at the awards!

  4. Xandi | The Mummy Scripts

    Hilarious! What a bizarre sign. How could you not believe in them?! They are constantly there ALL the time, on your toes, hanging off you – hard to miss really. :-)

  5. sabrina montagnoli

    Yes I believe in children :) Very funny post x

  6. Kate @craftsonsea

    Ohh, especially the talking in tongues one at the moment! (‘What was that? something about mists? Oh, you want crisps!)

  7. Tas D

    Hahaa soooo true!! I discovered some ectoplasm today on the back of his neck and wondered if my brother had been messing about putting gel in his hair. But nope nope…it was snot. Nice.

  8. Actually Mummy...

    That is hilarious. You Britmums fresh voice finalists are making my job bloody hard, you know! ;)

    • Sonya Cisco

      Are you our judge?!? *gasps and sends Helen cake* haha, I do not envy you at all, the rest of the category is really outstanding- not quite convinced I deserve to be alongside them, but am bloody delighted nonetheless!!

  9. Lucy at Dear Beautiful Boy

    Hahaha. So true. I definitely believe in children. x

  10. Emily Foran

    Maybe no would be a good answer – if they’re just a figment of my imagination then I don’t have to stop reading blog posts to find out why they’re fighting ;)) xx

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