The Ways Toddlers Are Like Poltergeists
My mate Emma saw a rather peculiar sign in a shop window the other day. It said:-
‘Yes,’ she thought, ‘Of course I do.’
Cos you know, children are definitely real. The Sixth Sense would have been a shite film if the punch line had been ‘I see children.’
Having said that, living with a toddler does bear a certain amount of resemblance to sharing a house with restless spirits:-
- Your belongings are moved by unseen hands. Only this morning I tracked down my phone to the wastepaper basket.
- They steal your bedclothes in the night.
- They speak in tongues.
- They scrawl messages onto the walls. (toddlers are slightly less likely to use blood)
- They leave behind a trail of ectoplasm.
- They make unholy wailing noises in the dark.
- You get a strange feeling that you are never alone. Even on the toilet.
SO bearing that in mind, do you believe in children?