While much of the country rejoices at the heatwave, those of us with a small person in tow may be less than cheerful....
- They have to wear a hat. They don't want to wear a hat. They lose all the hats. You may as well buy shares in a hat company so at least you get some of the profits from all the hat purchases.
- They sleep at all the wrong times. Hot days lead to lazy afternoon snoozes and then they create toddler mayhem all evening until they finally pass out shortly after you at 11.30 pm. They will then wake you up every 40 minutes or so to let you know that they are a tad warm, and would love it if you could shuffle their sleepy body onto a cooler part of the sheet, before waking up full of beans at 4am because the sun is up so it must be morning.
- They won't eat meals so you are forced provide a smorgasbord of cold exotic fruits and cheeses. Which get smooshed into carpets and sofas. And still don't get eaten. You try not to panic that they have eaten nothing all day, but do, then the next day they eat 7 dinners and all is well again.
- They are grumpy. You are grumpy. It is a vicious cycle of heat related grumpy.
- You have to put suncream in their eyes. Obviously that is not the official advice, but is the inevitable conclusion of any attempt to apply lotion to a screaming toddler while he/she thrashes about.
- They won't sit still in beer gardens. No relaxing cold shandy for you. No, you must spend your time crouched until your knees lock in a cobweb filled playhouse drinking imaginary tea, or refereeing a swarm of marauding children as they fight over the slide. Meanwhile all the other parents enjoy chats about the weather, sip their chilled drinks and pretend they haven't noticed you are having to stop their children partaking in playground genocide. From time to time you glance longingly at your ice cold fizzy beverage as it slowly becomes a warm flat glass of unpleasantness on a distant table.
On the plus side there is:- the expression on their face when they first discover ice cream, paddling pools, picnics, sandcastles, sandwiches and sand, the squeals of delight as tiny toes are dipped into freezing seas, the smell of suncream on hot skin, and generally all sorts of fun to be had when not dealing with the above list!