- The weather is making me hungry. Days with this much wind and rain deserve crumpets, and digestives dipped in hot tea.
- My hormones are making me eat. My womb is DEMANDING chocolate and threatening me with double cramps if I fail to deliver.
- It is Friday, diets work better on Mondays.
- The Great British Bake Off is on, it is the TV equivalent of wafting a fag under the nose of a recent quitter.
- It is only a small packet of biscuits.
- Real butter is much better for you than chemical ridden substitutes. Not sure if the advice is to slice it like cheese, but I am reckoning that more of a good thing equals double good for you. Am I right?
- Calories in booze don't count.
- In going to the shops for this bag of treats, I was forced to go up and down stairs twice, that will burn off the 1000 calories in this cake.
- Because conforming to the images of women in the media reinforces the patriarchy and puts unreasonable limits on what is deemed attractive by society at large. (Tho I do hate the size of my arse for solely personal vanity reasons)
- I feel sad/happy/bored and need this giant baguette to cheer me up/celebrate with/entertain me.
- I like food. I LOVE food.
- I hate exercise. I am officially allergic to it. I have a
forgednote from my Doctor confirming this to be a fact.
- It is my birthday. It is your birthday. Someone somewhere is having a birthday.
What are your best excuses, so I can steal them for myself next time the cream bun urge strikes....