Toddler Talk

I was woken up this morning by a 2 and a half year old, sitting next to me in my bed, his empty palms in front of him, asking the question ‘Where did my spider go?’

As an arachnophobic, there are few worse ways to welcome the day than that. And the thing with a toddler is you don’t even know if there was a spider. Their ability to imagine, misunderstand and contradict themselves knows no bounds.


A few weeks back Syd told me he had eaten a balloon. He told me this while clutching the remnants of a yellow balloon that he had managed to pop. The remnants, not the whole thing. I said “Did you really eat it?” “No.”

A search didn’t turn up the rest of the rubbery remains, but a further search of the google variety reassured me that he is by no means the first toddler that may have eaten one, and that generally it is not a big deal. A poo check over the next few days turned up no balloon, but neither has it turned up in the house. Questioning him at the time veered from ‘Yes’ to ‘No’ with no ultimate conclusion. Did he eat the balloon? Not a clue. But if he did, several weeks have passed without serious incident so I can suppose it has done him no harm.

OK, so his new-found verbal abilities may be frustrating at times, but they are also equally joyous and hilarious. Yesterday he told me I was a Princess. ‘Awww, that’s nice.’ I said. ‘Now Fly!’ he commanded. Apparently Princesses can do that.

The day before he called everyone ‘Burping Herberts’ for half an hour after copying it off the telly, while laughing in a dribbly, snot festooned fashion.

He is bossy – ‘NOW!’ being heavily favoured, but he has good manners, always saying his please and thank yous. When he told me to ‘Go Away’ the other day, I said ‘That’s not very nice is it.’ to which he replied ‘Go away, please.’

He now chatters away from dawn until dusk, and it is a source of delight, and occasional exasperation. Endless questions can wear thin, especially when repeated over and over. ‘It is still mustard, the same as the last twenty times you asked.’ On the whole it give us a window into what goes on in his head, and it is lovely.

I’ll tell you something though, I shall be checking very carefully before I get into bed tonight,

Love Miss Cisco XXX

Today I am linking up with Actually Mummys Wot So Funnee – find some more classics from the mouths of babes from the links below!



  1. March 4, 2014 / 11:14 am

    Lovely post. Totally agree about it being a window into their minds. Language and reality and the world, really, are up for grabs and reinterpretation. Just magical.
    headinbook recently posted…Left luggageMy Profile

  2. March 4, 2014 / 11:15 am

    I was woken by my toddler asking me where the man with grey hair had gone. That freaked me out! I got nowhere trying to establish where she’d seen this man or who he was. Perhaps a dream?! Got to love their funny little minds though! Although not if it’s creating spiders that aren’t there!
    Faded Seaside Mama recently posted…Choices, ChoicesMy Profile

  3. March 4, 2014 / 12:06 pm

    Toddlers are so hilarious. I love how they see the world, and how they answer the questions you ask. It is so hard keeping a straight face sometimes πŸ™‚
    On other occasions, well, toddler talk can be a bit of an embarrassing thing… Like when my youngest explain to the realtor guy how he has to kill the boxes on the iPad. He meant crumple them…
    Orli D recently posted…Food for MarchMy Profile

  4. March 4, 2014 / 6:03 pm

    I am so sorry, but I must admit, I laughed far more than was kind at the opening lines of this post. I hope I don’t get some kind of hideous karma-revenge and nd up with something eight legged and deceptively furry in my boudoir!
    Lucy Dorrington recently posted…Mothers Day Memento Makes!My Profile

  5. March 4, 2014 / 7:47 pm

    This is so funny. I lov ehte balloon story, although it would’ve been scary if I had a toddler an dit happened to him.
    Astrid recently posted…SmoothiesMy Profile

  6. March 4, 2014 / 10:07 pm

    lol – we are split 50:50 here over spiders. Three of us couldn’t care less about them, three are rather afraid….. I’m afraid to say the bold 50% have been known to deliberately frighten the others ….!
    Kate Thompson recently posted…Apparently it’s “Daughter’s Week”My Profile

  7. March 5, 2014 / 8:22 am

    Toddlers are so funny at that age! πŸ˜‰ they have great imagination πŸ˜‰
    Sylvia recently posted…Happy Pancake Day!My Profile

  8. March 5, 2014 / 10:28 am

    This made me laugh! I love the “window into their minds” – I hope I am not judged on the same grounds by the things I say: mainly commands, punctuated with begging. Spiders in the bed far more amusing – except for you!
    Jess Paterson recently posted…If Kids Did LentMy Profile

  9. March 5, 2014 / 10:34 am

    They scare you witless sometimes, don’t they? You can never be too sure about half-eaten balloons and spiders. They do crack you up most times though πŸ˜€
    VaiChin @Rambling Through Parenthood recently posted…J Speaks as a GuestMy Profile

  10. March 5, 2014 / 1:20 pm

    Oh he is so CUTE! I have to keep a notebook to write down all the comedy gold Bean comes out with – either to be used as blog fodder or revenge in the future πŸ™‚
    MummyNeverSleeps recently posted…All the Small Things #7My Profile

  11. March 5, 2014 / 2:30 pm

    Sooooo cute although I would be frantically searching the house too and little z would do the exact sand thing; swing between yes and no and go onto his next mischievous adventure πŸ™‚
    Notmyyearoff recently posted…The First Day Of Pre-SchoolMy Profile

  12. Audrey
    April 1, 2014 / 9:39 am

    What an adorable story! Thanks for sharing it!

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