We went to our first university open day on Saturday. We visited Bristol UWE and we were both really impressed. My daughter is looking at doing primary teaching and I loved the passion of the staff who spoke about the course, and the facilities were top notch. The accommodation was fab, the campus was great and generally I came away wishing I could go too!
The following day she was to visit Sheffield Hallam University with her Dad. She phoned him to check the arrangements. He was having a wobble. It turned out he had some reservations about her going to a University so far from home, meaning I had to have a sensible and serious conversation with him while stood in the accessories department of IKEA, not ideal timing, but nonetheless….
“What do you think?” he asked, “Don’t you think it is too far for her to go?”
I think it is not our decision, was my reply. If it was up to me I would build a University in my pocket and she can go there, but this decision is not about us. We can be there to be sounding boards, and offer support – but it is really utterly up to her. If she chooses to fly further from the nest then I consider I have done well at the job of bringing up a secure and confident human being, I won’t be disappointed, I will be proud. I am proud of her for having a vocation. I am proud of her for having made the tough decision to switch course after her AS levels. I trust her judgement to make the right decision for herself when it comes to picking which University to go to next year.
It is not our choice. This is probably the toughest bit of parenting yet. The sleepless nights and toddler/teenage tantrums are easy next to letting go. But let go we must, I love this Khalil Gibran quote:
She is ready to be sent forth, and I hope her arrow flies to all sorts of excitement, challenges new and happiness. I will sob like a baby when she is no longer under my roof, but living elsewhere will make her no lesser part of my family or my heart. I am not losing her, she is finding herself, her own path, her own future – and the point of being a parent is to get them to this point and then stand back and see how high they fly.
They went to Sheffield the next day. And he saw what I saw on the Saturday – a young adult on the edge of an exciting leap, and he caught some of the excitement of it – he realised Sheffield is not as far as he thought and saw the opportunities that may lie there if she opts to take them. I think we are on the same page now. It’s the end of a chapter, but not of the whole story, and I look forward to reading on.
Love Miss Cisco XXX