Christmas is annoying because…

…of, but not limited to, the following reasons…

  • I hate wrapping. I bought some presents and some wrapping paper but I have no desire to combine the two in a way that is pleasing to the eye. Can I just hand the two things over together and get the receiver to wrap their own gift like it’s some kind of party game?
  • Glitter. I have a toddler. He does like a craft and is particularly fond of a sparkly craft since pre-school introduced him to glitter. It is everywhere. Despite several hooverings it is coating our house. I always have at least 5 bits on my face. I resemble an entrant in the ‘dress your grumpy mum  like a dowdy David Bowie’ contest.  And yesterday I found a bit in my pubes. Festive fanny is not a look I was planning on.
  • Cards. I am fine with not writing Christmas Cards – it is better for the environment and it avoids getting nasty cramp in my hand as all my writing muscles have long since withered due to the advent of the typing on computers thing. But then a trickle of them start to arrive through the letter box from friends that are far nicer and far more organised than me, causing guilt to set in and a hurried dash to catch last posting day so I don’t look like an utter scrooge bastard for not returning their festive cheer.
  • School shit. I love a Nativity as much as the next overly hormonal pre-menopausal woman – tissues at the ready for all that. But the endless discos, tea towel purchasing, fairs and spangly jumper days get on my wick. One day I am just going to march up to the office with my purse held open, give them my card and pin number and tell them to help themselves. It’s less painful than attending a Christmas Fair, and far less painful than having to bake something to contribute.
  • Buying things I hate for people I love. And I am mostly looking at the teenager here…..Zoella’s book, albums by dreadful people purporting to be musicians, crap with pugs on?! Why can’t you ask for something nice….. 😉

 

bah humbug

Oh bah bleedin’ humbug huh! You know what tho, that moaning aside I bloody love Christmas, I have my flamingo lights and glitters skulls out, a bevy of Elvis Christmas albums on stand-by, and can’t wait to crack open the baileys for the traditional wrapping panic drinking game on Xmas Eve….bring it all on….except the glittery pubes…

Love Miss Cisco XXX

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16 Comments

  1. December 10, 2014 / 10:01 am

    I went into the school yesterday with a £10 and paid everything which needed paying…..Money to see santa, jumper day money and god knows what else! I got a pound change!! Grr!! So annoying!!
    I hate wrapping too..
    Kim Carberry recently posted…Selfie! #wickedwednesdaysMy Profile

  2. December 10, 2014 / 11:09 am

    Love this! Bought my wrapping paper weeks ago and felt all smug that I was being ‘organised’. Can I bring myself to use it? No! And the cards, and the flipping endless demands for money by the school… I could have written this myself. Apart from the festive fanny bit.
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…Guide to being a ballet mumMy Profile

  3. December 10, 2014 / 6:04 pm

    I haven’t even bought the presents to wrap yet. Help! It will be a last minute panic purchase fest slash wrapping orgy for me.
    Jane recently posted…You Learn Something New EverydayMy Profile

  4. December 11, 2014 / 2:07 pm

    LOL! We are all too familiar with the Xmas Eve panic where we madly try to assemble a house/car/castle and realise we don’t have any of the right tools and accidentally threw away the instructions with the wrapping.
    Mum of One recently posted…A Xmas Less Ordinary: My Top Five PicksMy Profile

  5. December 11, 2014 / 4:19 pm

    I think that you *may* relate to my post today….we are on similar bah humbug levels! Zoella’s book?! Don’t get me started grrrr.
    Suzanne recently posted…Bring Back ‘The Jolly’.My Profile

  6. December 11, 2014 / 6:53 pm

    I so hear you on the wrapping thing. I HATE it…. If I could pay someone to do it I completely would! 😀 xx
    Emma recently posted…Restaurant N ° 15My Profile

  7. December 13, 2014 / 11:07 am

    I detest wrapping presnts and writing cards too. I am afraid I am one of those annoying PFA mums though who rope everyone into various activities
    Kara recently posted…Colour Me Wellies ReviewMy Profile

  8. December 15, 2014 / 10:48 pm

    I’m a big Bah Humbug this year, there is just too much to do, it all feels very stressful xx
    Emma recently posted…The one about ChristmasMy Profile

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