Elections and Biscuits

So we had some elections Thursday, and plenty of people voted and plenty of people didn’t, and some people are now Police commissioners with their own hotline to Batman, and some people are new mayors of places, and some other stuff.

It wasn’t the most exciting of elections where I live – we had a small referendum on the matter of county council organisation and the PCC elections, which frankly judging from the lack of pamphlets through my door, even those standing for didn’t really care about.

Vote image via shutterstock

Vote image via shutterstock

As someone who joined a political party for the first time after last years dismal general election, this was the first time I have ever done any campaigning. Not door knocking, wasn’t really called for this time around and I am terrified of it anyway – I just know someone will ask me something clever and I will not know the answer. I am definitely a big picture kind of girl, a lovely big picture of sharing, caring and equality and no doubt some flowers (I do love flowers), rather than a finer details of policy kind of girl. No, I did some leafleting, and what I mostly learnt was a new-found respect for postman – who knew letterboxes were so hard? They bite, some of them, and others are completely impenetrable, leaving you with 2 options a) sort of scrunch the leaflet into the outer gap b) give up and move on, hoping that merely having tried will imbue some sort of leftwing haze of love on the building. Anyway – the upshot is I voted in the ballot box, but lots of people didn’t.

In fact lots of people don’t ever vote, even in the big important elections. Why? Because they mistakenly think politics isn’t for them. What they actually mean is politicians aren’t for them – and let’s face it, the majority of politicians, even on the ‘good’ side – speak in tongues and don’t seem to know much about the price of biscuits. And even worse than that many of them seem to lie and cheat and generally be the sort of person we would rather distance ourselves from, and we don’t want to encourage them by getting involved in that voting malarkey.

Except that politics and politicians are two different things. Politics is all about deciding what kind of society we want – equal? Caring? Return to workhouses? What do you want your society to look like – that is your politics. Then find someone who agrees with you and is willing to put themselves up for election and vote for them. The current crop of dodgy imbeciles are only in power because we allow them to be. We can vote someone else in. Someone nicer. Someone more like us. Someone without a trust fund in an offshore account. Someone who cares. We should all care about politics and that means voting. We should demand better from our politicians, but in order to do that we need to grab our chance to have our say by voting. And they really, REALLY want our vote, without it they are just ranting in the pub on a Sunday afternoon – so it is in their interest to actually do the things we want them to do – we just need to make sure they can hear us ask.

I do most of my talking to politicians when they are on Question Time. And when I say talking I mean grumbling, swearing, disagreeing and throwing the occasional slipper at the telly. The only thing is I can hear them, but they can’t hear me. Which makes my frankly brilliant suggestions a bit wasted. I need I get more involved too, how else will they get to hear about my socialist biscuit plans? I am going to start emailing them. Tweeting them. And generally being an all round nuisance until they agree to share the biscuits more fairly rather than keeping all the chocolate ones for themselves. Chocolate biscuits for all will be my slogan when I stand for government! 

In fact – they should give everyone a biscuit for voting – maybe more would turn out if they got a custard cream for their troubles? 

Love Miss Cisco XXX

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5 Comments

  1. May 9, 2016 / 1:40 pm

    EXACTLY this ^^^ Will you come and speak to my husband please. I get so cross with people who don’t vote…it’s insane.
    I like the biscuit plan too.

  2. May 9, 2016 / 1:42 pm

    Here bloody here! #applauds

    It’s about time that the powers that be shared the luxury hazlenut and choc chip and stop letting the masses having to put up with the mix crushed selection box which makes everything in it taste slightly weird and leaves you feeling that the box was false economy as it’s always full of things you didn’t want.

    Seriously though I wish there was one person that really motivates and inspires but as of yet…..

  3. Sarah
    May 9, 2016 / 7:55 pm

    Biscuits are good, but caring enough to take 5 minutes out of your day shouldn’t need a bribe. Every time you see “they’re all the same, what’s the point” in the press or TV, just think – who wants you to think its all pointless? Who wants yyou to think you can’t change anything? People died for the right to take part in this process. Emily Davis died for you. Take more than 5 minutes every few years. Take five minutes a day. Listen to a public service news show, read a broadsheet. Find out who is really on your side, or a bit more on your side than the other guy. Who has the money, who thinks you aren’t entitled to any. Who thinks your only value is to clean behind the fridge. Now go and vote. Because some of them would sooner shoot you than listen to you, and you need to know which is which.

  4. May 10, 2016 / 9:11 am

    All so very true! I just don’t get why people don’t vote. They really don’t seem to understand that the things they grumble about – the roads, the schools, the bins etc are all to do with politics and they could vote and make a tiny bit of difference.
    Chocolate biscuits for all!

  5. anne wallwin
    May 27, 2016 / 5:15 pm

    I was really surprised at the lack of turnout yet you ask anyone about the state of the country and they all have an opinion! Lets hope the EU vote inspires a few more people.

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