Weeping Moths

I read a lot, and I listen to a lot of music, and I was pondering today how it is the sad things that move me the most. I read plenty of jolly stories of happy days, but it is the tales of heartache, life’s struggles and it’s cruelties that result in the most evocative and elegant laments.

Edward Much quote

I am happy.

Therefore I cannot write a tragic masterwork. I am not even sure I can write an imagined one. I have days where I feel a little blue. But that is hardly going to unleash a tortured but talented wail from my inner soul.

Why is it that we are drawn to the dark side? Or is it just me? I wish I could create a song of wonder encompassing the delights of my life. But my joys are quiet ones. I am blessed to live with the love of my life, a man who makes me incredibly happy, in quiet and personal ways. I am not good at romantic outbursts so am unlikely to write a treatise to the flawed wonder that is him. The same can be said of my adored offspring, I do not have the words to convey the things they bring to my life- the highs and lows of my parenting journey, the way I feel when I look at them.

And even if I could find the words to adequately describe my happiness, it would be hard to understand for others anyway, for my happiness is not made up of perfection, rather the imperfections are what adds the charm.

Is it more difficult to describe happiness in words? Or is it that when we are content we feel less need to vent that, whereas a negative emotion screams to be let loose from our heads and onto the page, as if by writing it we can rid ourselves of it. Is that the fear? If I were to encapsulate my happiness in words would it at that point be jinxed out of existence?

Perhaps despite my happiness I am maudlin by nature, which is why I am so admiring of the wretched writings of those who are suffering. Perhaps it is human nature to be drawn to the light of pain like weeping moths?  Or is it that in our darkest hours we are at our most honest, our most open, our most human and it is that brute honesty itself that is appealing?  Or perhaps it is our empathy that drags us in, our desire to listen, to understand, to help, to heal? For while I may admire the skill of the harrowed wordsmith, I do not wish for their pain, and I am sure many would gladly swap their exquisite verbosity for my own bland platitudes.

Or perhaps I am wrong, perhaps the tortured artist is a myth, perhaps the joyous ones abound in equal balance and I am just a miserable old goth who should start reading something a little more upbeat. Are you the same? Do sad songs touch you a little bit more than the happy ones?

Love Miss Cisco XXX

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15 Comments

  1. Marilynn
    May 22, 2013 / 3:02 pm

    I do like a sad song or a heart- wrenching verse. I think the reason is that it’s the sadness of things that makes me appreciate the happiness of other things. I don’t think you can truly savour the sweet until you taste the sour. I think the two go hand in hand. Similarly, would you have the ability to feel truly sad, if you had never truly been happy. I think that it takes a well rounded person to appreciate the beauty in all things. The happy and the sad. Sorry. Just got a bit philosophical all up in your blog… *backs away slowly*

    • Sonya Cisco
      May 22, 2013 / 3:09 pm

      true, two sides of the same coin perhaps! fab comment, feel free to get ‘all up in my blog’ whenever you like! 🙂

  2. May 22, 2013 / 3:08 pm

    I think it’s hard to put happiness into words without sounding painfully cheesy! Sadness and darkness lend themselves to poetic language whereas trying to write light lovely things can sound a bit flippant maybe? That’s generally what I find anyway!

    • Sonya Cisco
      May 22, 2013 / 3:12 pm

      yes, you are right- and also hard not to sound smug as well as cheesy, it is not terribly English to show off about stuff!

  3. Suzanne Whitton
    May 22, 2013 / 6:05 pm

    I am in awe of anyone who can write poetry or song lyrics – it is a very special talent. I too wonder if maybe they just feel more deeply? I think I’m too hard-hearted to write anything of real depth!

    • Sonya Cisco
      May 22, 2013 / 8:22 pm

      Maybe for me it’s partly fear of revealing too much? It’s brave to be so open I think!

  4. SarahMummy
    May 23, 2013 / 5:34 am

    I like cheerful songs, but sad books. I like nothing better than a good cry over what I’m reading. I know on the occasions I’ve felt down and done a depressing blogpost straight off the top of my head they’ve been well read! But I’m glad to not be a tortured soul, even if it did make me a better writer.

    • Sonya Cisco
      May 23, 2013 / 7:16 am

      Yes, I always get a big readership on sad or ranty posts, so I guess that in itself shows I am not alone in being moved by the sadder side of life! ANd I too wouldn’t swap my happiness for writing ability, can’t we just have both? 😉

  5. May 23, 2013 / 2:01 pm

    I am drawn to the darker stuff, be it music, books and blog posts. I find it difficult to connect with the jolly stuff, it doesn’t really speak to me the same.

    God, now I sound like a right emo…

    Really thought provoking post dude 🙂

    • Sonya Cisco
      May 23, 2013 / 3:52 pm

      I am old, but it my understanding that Emos are just rebranded goths?! If so then I am one too! x

    • Older Mum
      May 24, 2013 / 9:18 am

      Yes…. rebranded goths :o)

  6. Older Mum
    May 24, 2013 / 9:18 am

    Absolutely loved this post – so well written. I wonder if it’s also to do with the fact that it’s sometimes easier to pen sad words, to describe them? Describing how happy you feel I think is quite challenging. And I also think it’s to do with vicariously living through someone else’s heartbreaking experiences or to relate to it (the empathy). If you have been through a crappy experience, it’s easy to feel alone in this, but if there is someone else out there singing ‘your song’ then it gives you something to hold onto, that you are not alone etc. Remember what happened to that guy who sang ‘don’t worry, be happy’? He committed suicide. Great post. X.

    • Sonya Cisco
      May 24, 2013 / 10:01 am

      Thank you, and yes, happiness is perhaps harder to define or quantify. And yes, knowing you are not alone is a great comfort at times isnt it. Thanks for commenting xx

  7. Older Mum
    May 24, 2013 / 9:20 am

    Oh… and ps. many, many congratulations for making the finalists of Fresh Voice. So well deserved.

    • Sonya Cisco
      May 24, 2013 / 10:02 am

      thank you. still think your name should be on the finalist list too. I award you the Cisco Award for Sheer Awesome Blogduggery! x

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