The One Where The Terrible Twos Arrive

Oh my, until the last few weeks I was smugly imagining that we were skipping the terrible twos. But no such luck, Sydney has been possessed by the spirit of uncooperativeness and it is not fun.

cheeky chops

Most of our conversations go like this;

“I don’t want to go to bed”

“That’s OK, it isn’t bedtime for half an hour.”

“I want to go to bed NOW.”

OR

“I don’t want my dinner.”

*attempts to take dinner away*

“I WANT MY DINNER NOW!”

Sometimes the only way to get him to do something is to pretend I want the opposite outcome.

And the tantrums. Oh my. Full blown screaming on the floor in the middle of the high street, usually because he wants to walk and not walk simultaneously.

He tells me to go away, but sobs in distress if I take him up on it.

The word ‘No’, however well explained, elicits spitting as a response. This is my least favourite bit of all the terrible two stuff. I am currently opting for walking away when he spits, and it does seem to be reducing it. Maybe bringing him up listening to punk wasn’t the best plan tho eh?!

I try really hard to do that positive parenting thing, you know, the woolly liberal nonsense that older generations frown at. “I can see your feeling frustrated, what can I do to help?” or offering alternatives “Which socks would you like? The red or the blue?”. But more and more lately he manages to wind me up to the point where I too have a tantrum.

Currently I am writing this while he is refusing to get dressed for playgroup. He loves playgroup, we will be late, and then he will cry at hometime because he hasn’t had enough time there. There is seemingly no way of explaining this that he will grasp though.

I paused then, because he said he was ready to get dressed now. But he wasn’t. He has now run off and is throwing my books off the shelf onto the floor. I am ignoring him a) because it might work and b) because we have been up 2 hours and I am already out of energy for another confrontation.

LATER

So we got there in the end, playgroup I mean. There was a small incident on the way when he refused to hold my hand next to a busy road despite me crouching down to his level and explaining about safety and working together. Therefore he had to be unceremoniously bundled into his pushchair and wheeled screaming down the high street.

Since then he has been lovely. Sweetness and light, my smiley cherub boy, especially at this exact minute as he is asleep on the sofa! Won’t be long until the darkside re-emerges though, so I am girding my spirits for the afternoon battles by gulping down coffee and biscuits while I have a few minutes peace. Honestly, he is my third, I have been here before, and I know it is a short spell, but boy is it exhausting!

So tell me, it has been a while since I last went through this phase, are naughty steps very noughties now? I shall be trying sticker charts, that boy does love a sticker. I prefer a positive, peaceful approach and am definitely not above bribery. I shall stop beating myself up for the occasional lapse of my own temper, and keep giving him lots of cuddles and love during the peaceful times, and we shall ride the tantrum storm together.

Terrible Twos is a funny term isn’t it? Two year old’s aren’t terrible, they are awesome. He is funny and talkative and constantly learning new things. He makes me laugh each and every day. He also frustrates me most days too, but that is because as well as learning his alphabet, he is also learning to have his own opinions. I don’t like it when someone disregards my opinion out of hand, and nor does he. OK, so my opinions are generally a bit more rational and rarely involve demanding kinder eggs for breakfast, but that doesn’t mean that his views should be ignored. Some of the best genius ideas ever sounded a bit crazy at first, who knows, it may be kinder eggs for breakfast today, and the answer to life, the universe and everything tomorrow.

That doesn’t mean I am beyond shouting back at him at times, there is only so much patience in my parenting pocket, it just means I try to bear in mind that his view counts. He still isn’t getting a kinder egg for breakfast though….

Love Miss Cisco XXX

 

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25 Comments

  1. June 9, 2014 / 10:19 am

    This sounds so much like my 4 year old (fortunately he delayed the terrible twos until he was 3ish). It was only a few weeks ago I stopped him riding his scooter in town because there were too many people around, at which point he starting sobbing and shouting “you’ve hurt my feelings and now you’ve ruined my day!”. All the way to the park. At the top of his voice.

    I’m a little worried that my daughter will enter the terrible twos on time (in July) and then I’ll have two of them at it.

    Like you, I will try to keep my patience and still lose my temper on occasion.

    In the meantime I’m stocking up on the chocolate.

  2. June 9, 2014 / 10:24 am

    Isn’t it funny how we somehow forget this phase when our children are older – I reckon it’s a bit like giving birth, our brain somehow manages to erase all recollection or we wouldn’t have any more! I don’t think my boy ever really went through this but I know my girls did and blimey, it was hard. Patience, patience and more patience. Dig deep Sonya!
    suzanne3childrenandit recently posted…Pulling TeethMy Profile

  3. June 9, 2014 / 12:24 pm

    Sounds like you have your hands full there. I feel like a really lazy parent now because at 2 I would have just gone and got my kids dressed myself.
    Pinkoddy recently posted…Batman Mask from a Cardboard BoxMy Profile

    • June 9, 2014 / 1:30 pm

      Haha don’t worry, it was me getting him dressed, he just wouldn’t cooperate with that even – just took things off as I put them on….

  4. June 9, 2014 / 1:27 pm

    I too went through the same – I would like to say it gets better… the back chat and use of longer words is something I now have to deal with. It always makes me chuckle when they are really sweet around other people… who assume you are making the fact they are little monkeys up!
    Sim @ Sims Life recently posted…Review: Cloggs… It Isn’t Just About The Shoes!My Profile

  5. June 9, 2014 / 1:36 pm

    Blimey hun, here was me thinking I’d have the parenting thing all sussed if I’d ever gone on to have any more. I’m guessing that all our kids are different & it’s always going to be a struggle. Good luck with the terrible twos!
    Izzie Anderton recently posted…The Kindness of StrangersMy Profile

    • June 9, 2014 / 4:23 pm

      Not only are they all different, but if you have a big age gap and a short memory span like me you cant remember what you did the last time round anyway!

  6. June 9, 2014 / 6:22 pm

    Oh dear. I remember these kind of stories so very well. My youngest is 18 months and the tantrums already started i am afraid. She is so strong headed it is unbelievable. But as the naughty step or chair didn’t work with my eldest i am not going to do it with my youngest either. In the end…hugging and trying to calm her down worked better than telling her off. If i was putting her on the naughty chair she was only getting angrier and angrier.
    Look I wrote a post about it here http://romanianmum.com/2012/07/words-of-wisdom-27-parenting.html
    otilia recently posted…Better me challenge!My Profile

  7. June 9, 2014 / 8:46 pm

    I remember this stage so well – it’s such a difficult time as they’re trying so hard to assert themseleves in whatever way they can. Hugs x x
    Cass@frugalfamily recently posted…Siblings – June….My Profile

  8. June 9, 2014 / 9:01 pm

    Kinder eggs for breakfast sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

    Don’t worry, not long to go and then you’ll have a threenager on your hands *ducks*

  9. June 9, 2014 / 9:15 pm

    Is this a boy thing, do you think? My 2 y/o son is EXACTLY like this but his big sister was sweetness and light at that age 🙂
    Alice recently posted…In Lieu Of A Big Long Blog PostMy Profile

  10. June 9, 2014 / 9:35 pm

    You have my sympathies you really do, it is a bit like living with a schizophrenic isn’t it – all lovely one minute and then the next a screaming, raging monster. Not only that it is the most ridiculous things that set them off. Hopefully he will get it out of his system soon and then will be an angelic teenager
    Nikki Thomas recently posted…Why? (the parenting edition)My Profile

  11. June 9, 2014 / 10:36 pm

    With a twenty month old in the house I have to admit that I’m keeping my head very firmly in the sand about the idea of him hitting the terrible twos. I’m still battle weary from dealing with his sister when she was two!
    Penny Carr recently posted…Challenge CompleteMy Profile

  12. June 10, 2014 / 9:14 am

    I feel your pain! Kids are so irrational. I don’t think our terrible twos were that bad (although they certainly had their moments!), but the irrational behaviour probably carried on until they were 4. Hang on in there!
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…The garden in JuneMy Profile

  13. June 10, 2014 / 9:24 am

    I remember this phase well! I found what worked really well with Ozzy in particular was explaining how his tantrums made me feel. So saying things like ‘When you speak to me like that it makes me feel really sad’.
    That made him realise that his actions could make others feel sad, and even though inwardly I do believe tantrums are simply frustrations of growing, the mental catching up with the huge physical changes, it really helped him to see a reaction to a tantrum that wasn’t me counter-grumping and getting frustrated. Talking through how I was frustrated and how he was making me feel worked nicely for us and also gave him a positive example of how he could deal with frustration too x
    Mammasaurus recently posted…Siblings in JuneMy Profile

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  15. June 10, 2014 / 7:13 pm

    What works for one…definitely doesn’t work for the other, cos then parenting would be easy wouldn’t it?! Time out failed us but it is great for parents to have it 😉
    Penny A Residence recently posted…The art of garden containersMy Profile

  16. June 10, 2014 / 7:15 pm

    Brilliant post…. I found it was worse when Little A got to three (sorry). But still their tantrums are seismic. You’ve just got to do what you’ve got to do. When Little A threw a meltdown, I found the best thing was to step away and let her calm down. *here’s a gin*. X

  17. June 10, 2014 / 9:55 pm

    Oh dear I’m so sorry to hear this awful news – the terrible twos are the worst. I found the last couple of years so very hard with the twins as they have been so tantrumy. Good luck and baton down the hatches
    Rebecca recently posted…Easy Frozen Cake Pop RecipeMy Profile

  18. June 16, 2014 / 9:25 pm

    This sounds so similar as we are going through the same thing at the moment. I find counting to 3 often works, I explain the consequence of him not doing what I want first and then make sure I act on it. Probably 80% of the time he does it before we get to 3. If we are in a rush I often just say find you don’t want shoes on you can go out without them and put him in the car, of course I then have tears the whole journey! We don’t have a naughty step but if it is really bad we do put him in a room next to the kitchen and wait for him to calm down before he says sorry.;
    Kate Davis recently posted…Photo scavenger hunt to teach photography tips for childrenMy Profile

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